Every time I'm about to begin an entry, my mind draws a complete blank. I just sit still with a glazed look, hands on the keyboard while i try to figure out what i want to say. Today is no different..and i must struggle to simply continue with this sentence. I managed to claw my way into
OCS. I've come a long way, i think i deserve this opportunity. Not everyone is bound to agree of course, that's always been the case with me everywhere
I've been. What with my
ippt still at a diver's silver standard, and certain "ground discrepancies" which suddenly emerged in the past week. I don't know what ground discrepancies had emerged to hamper my chances but, i felt as if the probability of my going to OCS was quite low at that point had reached an all time low. That said, the final outcome has been in my favour. So i look forward to a new start, the ball game has moved to an entirely different pitch. .The two weeks leading up to this point were very taxing emotionally. My morale at an all time low, i resorted to praying on a regular basis simply because i felt like there was nobody to turn to. My social life is in a rather shambolic state, i've pretty much kept to myself like a recluse in recent times. Shahid brought up the topic of how i'm going to cope with the graduation dinner for OCS...i'm not gonna be able to find a date at the rate i'm progressing. Then there is the diver's graduation dinner as well. I need a bloody date for that too. At the age of 21 and im still pretty much the way i was 4 years ago...a worrying trend. Look at the way i'm going in this entry, everything is all over the place, a clear lack of structured thought. I'm giving up..i don't know how to go on with this bloody post.
