I had FUN today. FUN. It helps when the company is good, especially when you've known them since secondary school, and have watched them grow from awkward young tweens into mature young adults, with very distinct personalities and styles too. I went ice skating with 4 other prefect friends from LONG LONG ago. Joanna, Seng Kiat, Diane, Wilberg. Then we met Qimin for dinner at swensens. It was so awfully nice to see them again. It is so odd how we're from two different levels and yet we've got this strong bond. The other batches don't have the privilege of a relationship like this. This bond evolved through...hmm... what how did it start. Lets see, i was close to Joanna and Qimin through band and common duty areas which i managed to rig... Through them i got close to Diane and Carolyn. Then besides that, the whole bunch of us used to stay back after school together, eat take-out food from the coffee shops at block 55, talk crap, share problems, bitch about people...especially my sister. It was basically quality time spent together talking about all things under the sun. Today we bitched about my sister again! Some things don't ever change.
So much for studying this week though, fat load of studying i've completed in the last few days... But..its the festive season, i'm allowed the indulgence, i don't normally go out and have fun with friends honestly. Surely i am allowed to pamper myself a little now and then.
Speaking of pampering myself...i have had chocolate cake for breakfast everyday for the last 6 days. I should punish myself....and totally fast for a whole week.
Christmas has come, christmas has gone. So i'm back to work, plugging away slowly at the reports i have to submit in two weeks time. This is harder than i'd expected, especially since neither Miko nor Johanan has come online. God damn it, everything is going to be left till the last week. Not something i am comfortable with, especially given Jinkai's god awful report. Where do i find the bloody information to complete that thing. How am i supposed to design a damned 100 litre bioprocess just to produce god damned proteins? I suppose i could start printing tutorials to prepare for the coming tests...yeah...that would be a wise course of action. One must not forget that in spite of the holiday mood, hell looms just around the corner. Which means off i go to print my tutorials for genomic technique just for a start.
I just saw Sulastrie's msn nickname. I wish this year could replay. or smth along those lines. Yeah, it's been a very memorable year, more so than most others. I went to Australia, i did this i did that, i completed my final year project, band has been pocketing trophies like nobody else matters. I've come to terms with my classmates, come to appreciate their ways as well. That's jsut some of it. While i don't quite desire a replay of the year 2006. I'd like very much to keep all the scenes i have been witness to or part of, inside a box and store somewhere dark and quiet, so that one day, i may open it up and slowly flip through the scenes one by one in nostalgia.
I'm trying to maintain my weight, it is not easy, especially when i keep craving for food to eat. Anything sweet or salty. I just need to put stuff in my mouth and i don't quite know why.
Ticks. I don't like ticks one bit. Sally had ticks, i discovered them while she was sitting next to me on the sofa watching tv. I run my hand down her back and a find a strange lump, so i brush her fur aside and i see this olive green round tumour like thing with red legs, and i quickly push her off the sofa. Ticks are ugly. I grabbed the forceps i stole from the lab and stuck them in a bottle of 70% ethanol then i started to remove the ticks one by one. I don't know how many she had, but needless to say, i get slightly uncomfortable when she's on my bed, i really don't need a tick infestation. My CLS dinner and dance is over. That marks a milestone in my polytechnic journey. I'm mostly glad its ending. The class BBQ is soon, we don't have to cancel it because we can always stay sheltered from the rain in my front porch. Dickson told me to get chicken and sauce for marinating it. That kinda means i have to marinate it. I didn't want to do anything for this BBQ, but i couldn't say no then could i. If i make a big fuss over it, it would spoil the mood of everyone, i'm good at spoiling moods, its a talent. It is my bloody house after all, my mood would definitely influence everyone, it's not like i can just walk off and go home if i'm starting to hate things.
At this point, i am tempted to launch into an rant on the various unhappy things i can infer from not being told that there's band tomorrow, even though i'm online and there are other band geeks online as well. But why would i wanna do that, it is not as if they owe me the small courtesy of letting me know about it. I mean, i didn't even bother to say open a window with them and spit out a few pleasentries. Perhaps ask them about their trip to the land of a thousand smiles... I mean if i had done that, then i wouldn't have to ask of be told. The subject would just pop up. So it must be my fault because i hate people so. You can't expect anything to happen if you don't go socialise a little. I feel like walking in this incessant rain. It's good that i went offline, that way i don't have to say anything to make anyone feel upset. It's simpler that way.
I watched Joyeux Noel on VCD. I liked it very much. It's the kinda movie that shows that in spite of how much people really suck. Wonderful things still do happen. It really captured the true spirit of christmas through a very powerful story.
My brother did well for his N levels apparently... I guess i'm gonna lay off his case for a bit. Cut him some slack. Maybe he will turn out to be a normal person and not a freaky dude who talks on the phone for 4 hours a day or something.
Graduation party was today, there's 5 weeks of school left, christmas is coming and the world is a much happier place to dwell upon. So i finally tied up the last end of my FYP by having dinner with Cyril Chua and my sister group. His treat, we ate at billy bombers, and we honestly enjoyed it, i liked the music. We all found out that he was scared of me. As in afraid because he had no idea how to deal with a person like me, and i did speak to the NTU people with a bravery that even he didn't have. HAW~! Ok...i don't really blame you for being unable to handle me, heaven knows i gave you a piece of my mind more than once. Underneathe all that however..i am insecure. But any-dang-ways... I'm really quite human again.
Since i joined SP till now, i don't think that i have changed one bit, maybe in subtle ways i have, but most of it is the same. My classmates think i am different now...truth is..it's their perspective that has changed.
Band kids left for Thailand today, i didn't get a chance to say good bye...or take care or anything like that. I suppose i had a good excuse... but....i could have smsed. It was really rather cold and rude of me not to even send them a simple "bon voyage mes amis" The last thing i said to Felix was a message which pretty much implied that he was a rude mother fucker for the tone of his earlier message.
Went to Kbox with my classmates...i spent 5 hours there listening to them sing Chinese songs which all sounded bloody same to me. Dickson just reaffirmed my conviction by informing me that they all had the same chords!!! How does the chinese music industry survive!
I just realised something very strange... sad... and strange. My parents, they do not seem to realise that my siblings and i, for reasons unknown, seem to have some very odd insecurities about ourselves. We are seriously unbalanced in the self-esteem department. My sister is very insecure, i know that for a fact, i have no helped the matter much given our history. My brother is constanty put down by me, he doesn't have a very wide social circle, he's got his own set of quirky ways. He's all about computer games and stuff. I...well...i'm crazy. Sometimes i'm bitter, and i hate everyone, and sometime's i just hate myself. But i think it all stems from some self esteem issue we have in common. I don't quite understand it. Which part of my upbringing or my childhood is the cause of this? I know that of the consequences of it is our poor ability to express ourselves emotionally. We can get quite volatile and rather dramatic. Oh, and my mother says the same thing over and over and over again everytime she scolds us about being rude. It's tiresome. I think i shall end up that way one day. That depresses me a little.
My little roses do not look like they are thriving. They looked quite dead today, so i spent a bit of time removing some wilted leaves with a pair of forceps and a pair of scissors. I noticed that there were young leaves, hopefully those are adapted to the "dry" ex vitro environment. The smallest plantlet is not really growing at all. But its wilted the least, its leaves remain succulent.
