Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The weekend was the most crazy and tiring one that i've ever had to go through in a long time. I slept for from 3 to 6.30am on saturday morning. So that i'd be able to wake up early enough to put my the band's banner in a nice place. Then i slept at 4 am on Sunday, because we stayed up to analyze the SYF video. They've done it again, once more a Gold. It's really disappointing that separation is inevitable.
Actions are worth a thousand words, and words unsaid are as powerful as the action itself.. For that which was left for me to infer has left me bleeding from a wound that flows. And i will eventually be either bled dry or drowned in my own blood. Damn them for all their ignorant stumbling and groping about in darkness. DAMN them all. And your sympathy and guilt that shone in your eyes, even as you tried to make ammends, through simple and really discreet gestures. The damage is done. It is my own failing.
Long day it's been. Began at 8am and ended at 5pm. I;m ok with waking up early for school, but why does it have to end so late, it messes with my temper and my mood. That in turn affects my ability to actually do work when i get back at night. And now i sit here tired, grainy eyed and wishing i could kill things. Miserable i am. But there is a little bright spark hiding in the shadows. The bus broke down today! i got my a free trip. I know it's a weird thing to be happy about or amused by, but i like getting free trips.
My mother wants me to get a scholarship or some shit like that in the army...when will she ever understand that i DON'T want to be bonded to the damned Government or the Army or anything to do with either one of them. It's nothing but trouble!
Actions are worth a thousand words, and words unsaid are as powerful as the action itself.. For that which was left for me to infer has left me bleeding from a wound that flows. And i will eventually be either bled dry or drowned in my own blood. Damn them for all their ignorant stumbling and groping about in darkness. DAMN them all. And your sympathy and guilt that shone in your eyes, even as you tried to make ammends, through simple and really discreet gestures. The damage is done. It is my own failing.
Long day it's been. Began at 8am and ended at 5pm. I;m ok with waking up early for school, but why does it have to end so late, it messes with my temper and my mood. That in turn affects my ability to actually do work when i get back at night. And now i sit here tired, grainy eyed and wishing i could kill things. Miserable i am. But there is a little bright spark hiding in the shadows. The bus broke down today! i got my a free trip. I know it's a weird thing to be happy about or amused by, but i like getting free trips.
My mother wants me to get a scholarship or some shit like that in the army...when will she ever understand that i DON'T want to be bonded to the damned Government or the Army or anything to do with either one of them. It's nothing but trouble!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I got back to Singapore on Monday night. I think i'd rather be in Australia. I went for band on tuesday, i didn't enjoy going for band i think. I'm not sure what i want in that matter, i guess oe of the reasons why i'd rather be there is that i wouldn't have to face this little band problem. I've also been rather unwell since i returned, a slight infection, nothing the immune system can't bat aside without too much effort. I woke up this morning feeling fuzzy and sickly. So i popped the pills and i'm pretty much back to normal. Got that long awaited haircut a few hours ago. My head feels way more comfortable right now. Last night i sat at the beach with two friends and we finished two pints of Ben and Jerry's! Never before have i indulged in so much good quality ice cream in one night!!! I think what was most fun was that it was spontaneous and wasn't planned at all. I guess these simple things just satisfy me so much more than any elaborate occasion. They only happen once in a blue moon though, and i don't think and opportunity like this will pass me by a second time.
After more than a month away, i can see that the Jack Dempseys have grown by heaps. They look loads better now, i need to carry on working on the tank. New additions will come in good time. Agrotechnology this semester might turn out to be a great module for me, it has a lot about fish and water conditions for fish, filtration, disease and diet. I'm really really looking forward to sinking my teeth into the stuff i'll learn in the weeks to come. This is one module that i have to push real hard to get an A for, if only for the fact that i've been a hobbyist for ages. It being the last year in school and all, i intend to push myself as hard as i can this time. I need As. The windows of opportunity for attaining an A are quickly become smaller and scarcer.
The NKF problems have had such an impact on the family of late. It's been a tough week and it's not even over yet.
After more than a month away, i can see that the Jack Dempseys have grown by heaps. They look loads better now, i need to carry on working on the tank. New additions will come in good time. Agrotechnology this semester might turn out to be a great module for me, it has a lot about fish and water conditions for fish, filtration, disease and diet. I'm really really looking forward to sinking my teeth into the stuff i'll learn in the weeks to come. This is one module that i have to push real hard to get an A for, if only for the fact that i've been a hobbyist for ages. It being the last year in school and all, i intend to push myself as hard as i can this time. I need As. The windows of opportunity for attaining an A are quickly become smaller and scarcer.
The NKF problems have had such an impact on the family of late. It's been a tough week and it's not even over yet.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Last night, i was entertaining some pretty wild ideas about getting a Netherland Dwarf Rabbit for a pet or starting a mini-reef tank. Today, my wild imagination has pretty much subsided, and i'm beginning to see the light~. In order to keep an ND, i need to provide the critter with the appropriate housing. A two feet long fish tank really isn't quite appropriate for a rabbit. They are active creatures by nature, and NDs more so than the local breed. Makes plenty of sense, given their smaller stature. So while i could splash out some cash and go purchase a fairly big sized cage...or even go the extent of getting a hutch..-of which my mother would strongly disapprove- but i do not see that as prudent, because i wouldn't be able to provide the rabbit with the freedom it requires. To solve the freedom issue, i could get a play pen, but then i have a bad tempered cat-she takes after me- and an overly inquisitive dog who likes getting stuff in her mouth...she put my gerbil in her mouth once, and i found it dead and very wet the next morning. So, it would take an incredible amount of effort just keeping the silly bitch away from the poor bunny. Not to mention a fair sized cage would cost 60 quid and i don't even know the cost of a playpen... Cost and annoying housemates aside...i don't have the time to constantly monitor the furball during play hours. You can't keep a rabbit cooped up in a cage 24 hours a day...that will kill the poor bugger..So i have to let it out for at least a quarter of the day. And i seldom have a quarter of a day to spend with my pets, meaning they get sadly neglected now and then.. And neglecting a rabbit's play time is very unhealthy. One of the key fundamentals to raising a pet is spending time with it. And a pet like a rabbit requires plenty of quality time...-bonding...thats how i got my cat to be my cat...and not just another stray..- i can't afford to keep a rabbit. SAD..
Having rambled on about all that, what about a marine tank then? The bigger the tank the less maintenance involved. Marine fish are extremely sensitive to fluctuations in salt concentration. Often, i let a tank go without changing its water for months. Bad for marine fish, because their poop is SO diluted in the ocean...its like living in clean water no matter how often or where you poop. Otherwise..it's a worthwhile venture.but for the fact that i have to find a place to set up the tank...and the expenses...gosh. Buying a cooler, protein skimmer, hydrometer, marine salt mix. Coral sand, live rock. Nope. BAD IDEA. Disappointing.
So what should i spend my money on? My 6 ft tank. Priority would be to get new gravel for the thing, so that my CAs will look pretty, and work on getting a water changing system into place, so that i can change water regularly and with efficiency. And get a few new small CAs. So i shall invest in an efficient filtration system!! and a new gravel siphon...reeaaally important that one.
Having rambled on about all that, what about a marine tank then? The bigger the tank the less maintenance involved. Marine fish are extremely sensitive to fluctuations in salt concentration. Often, i let a tank go without changing its water for months. Bad for marine fish, because their poop is SO diluted in the ocean...its like living in clean water no matter how often or where you poop. Otherwise..it's a worthwhile venture.but for the fact that i have to find a place to set up the tank...and the expenses...gosh. Buying a cooler, protein skimmer, hydrometer, marine salt mix. Coral sand, live rock. Nope. BAD IDEA. Disappointing.
So what should i spend my money on? My 6 ft tank. Priority would be to get new gravel for the thing, so that my CAs will look pretty, and work on getting a water changing system into place, so that i can change water regularly and with efficiency. And get a few new small CAs. So i shall invest in an efficient filtration system!! and a new gravel siphon...reeaaally important that one.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I read the first lines of my previous entry, and my current mood contrasts starkly with the sentiments of said entry. To start with, i had a good weekend, i went down to Shopping fare and KMart. Bought a DVD for my brother as payment for his services. I'm fast running out of Aussie currency. I'll have to find a money changer..FAST or i'm going to find myself seriously broke... Having spent enough time at the shopping area. I hopped on a bus to Emu Park. AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED! The long flat stretches of beach with rocky points reaching out to sea ...the vast horizon stretching before my eyes. Beats Yeppoon hands down. Particularly because of this monument erected in honour of James Cook, called the Singing Ship. It's the shape of a ship, the masts are made of pipes and when the wind blows, it creates these hauntingly beautiful tones.
Lab work has taken a turn for the worse of late. On monday, i felt so exasperated, frustrated and helpless that at one point, i simply threw myself on the floor and groaned for a few seconds. Science is tedious and frustrating and more often than not, you find that you have to go back several steps to try and find out where the mistake occured. The painful bit comes where each step can be consist of a two hour reaction and some irritatingly sensitive compounds or enzymes. And when you don't feel entirely confident or have moments of self-doubt... the wait for the results becomes an excrutiatingly long wait involving paranoia and crazy speculation where you continously beat yourself up over your incompetence. It really doesn't help that you've given a good impression of yourself thus far, and you start to fear that you might let your superiors down. Today i did sequencing, and it yielded nothing...just another disappointment in a growing list of failures. I even managed to screw up three gels in a row, because i didn't have my usual apparatus. I also find myself increasingly inclined towards stabbing a scalpel into Jess's neck and then skinning her with it. I can't help it, she's not someone i would normally mix with i think... Then again, i find myself quite comfortable without any friends around for now.
I tried to snorkel on Sunday, and failed miserably i think. I takes some getting used to...breathing only from your mouth, and given that my stamina is at a low, and i've not been playing the trumpet for ages, my breathing skills are really quite rusty. We fished on the boat out in the open sea too, and i hooked a Remora! hahahaa! the biggest ever fish i have ever hooked and its a pathetic sucker fish!