The alumni BBQ was a little disappointing, to say that the turnout was trivial, would be an understatement. 7 people out of an expected 20. How's that for percentage... Would've felt better if Royston had turned up. Claim's a last minute family thing cropped up. I trust him, can only hope that he comes next thursday. It is times like these that i wonder, why teen's my age do not have the capacity to think for others but themselves. Sure one has to be selfish, if you don' t take care of yourself, no one will. But what about the bigger picture, say the band for example. You don't find many seniors going back regardless of whether they have the time or not. I can understand the reluctance that may develop. Having been detached from the scene for sometime. But there is a small group of people i know, they can go back, but they don't make the effort to. Guess there is little incentive left once you no longer have your clique around....little to attract your attendence. Ok, now i'm just blabbering a little. But in the past months, which of the recently graduated seniors has come back on a regular basis, the way i did when they were the titans. Strange where the loyalties lie, not to the bigger picture-the organisation which by right should be magnet for your affection. But the presence of your social circle. In that, i am quite different, such matters do not affect my attendence. Unfortunately others do...hah...like my own emotional instability has as i have discovered, often appeared as a stumbling block. I am still the youngest member of the alumni, what is with that sad fact. A new batch of students just graduated, well i guess...the poor recruitment is down to our inadequate advertising abilities. Again i trail off into blabber............
Damn mosquitoes have been waking me up each night. It is becoming increasingly unbearable and my attention span in school is being affected. curse those godforsaken creatures.
Really starting to dislike Faiz now. He is such an irritant, with his; why does he do this....and....why are people like that...my girl blah blah blah....i should know because i have a girlfriend.....*high pitched laughter*.....jerk...jerk...and the list just never seems to end. Why did i have to get into this accursed class...? I hope that when i am posted to my new class, i will not be placed with any of them. At least it is unlikely that i shall be placed with anyone within my current "clique" Probably just miko and damn...yeah..the malay dude...
Felix was invited to Gim Kai's little "brother" gathering..and he seemed to expect that i would be involved too. Silly little assumption that, guess it looked like i was close to them some time back. My middle name should be interloper...which is an apt description for what i was doing many months ago, never belonged there, shouldnt have tried to fit in either. It's probably time to take up more sports. Cycling frequency should be increased, soccer too. Looking forward to the kayaking course next saturday, something new and different. Maybe in future, we can go kayaking instead of "soccering". And heaven knows, maybe i'll meet that someone special through some amazing stroke of luck.
Just found out that Boyz II Men is R&B.
how odd is that...
and i've been listening to them for quite a number of years for that matter.
I drastic need for some new material right now, need something refreshing, maybe i'll go get kelly clarkson, wonderful voice, and a cute face to top it off.
I've decided to eat less, because eating less equates to spending less. Decided that i've spent too much money fattening myself like a calf for the slaughter. Not good, especially since my activity levels have dropped.
Have too many gerbils!! someone come adopt them please...damn, i really love them, but its a bit too many to handle because they demand bigger housing than hamsters. if i had less, i could devote my time more evenly, so god, please send a kind soul along the way to take them off me!
At this point, i'd like to sign of by saying Je veux manger du gateau au chocolat
Here i am feeling sorry for myself. It seems like many things are missing from my life right now.
Just to put things into perspective.
A typical weekday begins at 7 and ends at 5. When i reach home, i either do my work or put myself infront of the computer and play a game, or go online. But lately going online has been reduced to habit and routine. It is beginning to seem like i have nobody to talk to.
When i listen to jon whine about his life and all his brooding. I wonder why he does not appreciate what he has.
Looks like it's my turn to slip into melancholic brooding. My social life is a wreck. It has been a wreck since last year.
Off late, i have also taken on a great fiery temper which snaps as easily as a an old sun dried rubber band when it is over stretched. I've screamed at team mates during soccer, screamed and cursed at siblings, i take snide pot shots at classmates when the opportunity arises. It's been a bad month. My birthday is coming, could that be the reason. Maybe in the days leading up to the personally significant date, my mood has dipped because im afraid that the inevitable build of excitement will lead plunge into disappointment when i find on the day itself that a mere 1 percent of my social circle remember that it is my day. It's happened before, not having any one to go out with. Last year i was without school or job, i was going for band faithfully. Nobody there remembered my birthday. It hurt a fair bit, to find that i had nothing to do but stay in the house and brood. This year won't be any better, even though i am finally becoming legal to purchase alcohol. I think i will be spending it in loneliness once again. These bitter sentiments are the most probable cause of my snappy mood. *sigh*
Damn, going out with ummar's class guys really showed me what my class lacks. There's no sense of the camaradrie his class has in such abundance.
School holiday is ending, and i will have to face my classmates once again. Not looking forward to this.
