Its been a while since i last updated. I just lost the female campbell. It's a real pity. Because i suspected her to be pregnant. Well, been busy the past few days. And i had not taken sufficient time off to observe them rodents. One morning i just found her stiff body lying on the bedding. I was puzzled. She was perfectly healthy. Showed no signs of illness and was very youthful asl well. So i did a small investigation. There was uneaten food lying about. That meant that she had not finished her previous day's meal. The water bottle..its was full. There was no difference in water level. I poked the ball bearing with my thumb. And no water flowed through. There yoo have it. She died of dehyrdation. The damned water blottle was clogged for maybe 3 days. And i never noticed it. I squeased it once and air bubbles floated to the top. A pocket of air killed my hamster. So now i've learnt a crucial lesson. Always check the water bottles after a refill. It could mean life or death.

Woke up early this morning. Waited for Kenrick to come pick me up. He woke up late. So, we couldnt go to the Shirt maker to get the alumni shirt done. Doesnt matter though, because the company we were intending to visit would not have been able to produce the shirts by saturday. So, didnt matter much in the end. Skipping the visit, we rushed down to Band World to collect the repaired instruments. Mr Ong was generous!!! hahaha.
Upon reaching Ping Yi, we boarded the buses in a hurry and set off for the national stadium. The performance at the stadium was...well not up to par to say the least. I still dont understand why they did so poorly. Ended the day by coming home at 10 smelling funny...hahahaa, i wont elaborate on that....

Previous day was equally long. Morning i go get my hair cut. After thats done. I rush to bedok to meet jasmine and stephanie. Due to my hair cut. I was already a half hour late. Sorry~~ The talk in the convention hall was a damned waste of time. Basically going to school that day was a damned waste of time. I met my class tutor. Boy is she strict. and she has really high expectations... We share the same surname. Which is something very interesting, because i never thought that i'd ever have a teacher who had my surname. My classmates seem like a lovely bunch. hahaha, a bit crazy in fact. The first guy i spoke to was a tall dude named Faiz. Believe it or not. He's a springfielder. Funny coincidence. Anyhow. the first thing he said wasnt Hello. it was...something like.."eh, our shoes from far look the same sia" hahahaha...thats an unusual way to strike up a conversation. But i was impressed, so he was successful. In class, i was surrounded by 3 other guys. The first thing we discussed after self introductions was....who want to chabot flag day???? hahahaa. Its like the complete opposite of my JC experience. Its a good start by my standards. After the teacher was done with her.....impossibly long talk. i rushed of to the language block to get the paper work for my french done. Then took a cab down to Ping Yi, wanted to get there before band ended. So that i could pass joanna her new stork mouthpiece. Only a few days left for her to use it. Damn sayang...so aiyah...take cab lor. Ummar, Jas and steph....took a free ride down to bedok...freeloaders...hahahahaa!

Will get mice soon. At this shop in tampines. I dont know where it is...ive never been to the place before. So i think i will venture down this sunday. Will have a tight schedule in the coming days. So.....have to make good use of my time.

School begins soon. From the impression my tutor gave me. It seems, this course really is difficult. Im gonna have to put in a 120% in this first year if i want to develop a foundation for me to work on or hopefully not.....fall back on in future. My aim is enter a local Uni.......i must enter one.....failure is not an option.

Oh and happy birthday maureen!!!!!  ¶ Wednesday, June 30, 2004

  funny shit...can be scarily accurate at times

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	12
your best quality is	youre talented
your worst quality is	nothin'
this is because	you are who you are
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

  ¶ Tuesday, June 29, 2004

  You are not in love but you are not not in love,you
are trying to find things about the world and
want to find that wonderful one but you cant
find what you are looking for GOOD LUCK and
please rate my quiz


Are you in love?
brought to you by Quizilla




Ki-lin

A mythical being of Chinese mythology, comparable
with the western unicorn. Ki-lin personifies
all that is good, pure, and peaceful. It lives
in paradise and only visits the world at the
birth of a wise philosopher. The Ki-Lin is
said to walk on earth and on water. It never
drinks or eats dirty food or water. The Chinese
unicorn never treads on smaller animals below
its feet nor does it ever harm another living
creature. The Ki-Lin is the emblem for
exquisite goodness, longevity, grandeur,
endless compassion and great wisdom. According
to Chinese mythology, at the birth of Confucius
a Ki-Lin appeared and Confucius died soon after
a Ki-Lin was killed, he believed that his
writings would not proceed from the omen of the
death of the Unicorn.


Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
  ¶ Sunday, June 27, 2004

  • Class : DBMDT/FT/1B/21 = 21 of DBMDT/FT/0/1B
Day Time Module Room Lecturer Week
Mon 09:00-10:00 CP2007 =BMICRO1 (L) T124 PhoLK Sem1
Mon 10:00-11:00 CP2037 =CELLBIO (L) T124 FernandoAA Sem1
Mon 11:00-12:00 CP4006 =IOCHEM2 (T) T135 LeongCH Sem1
Mon 13:00-14:30 MS2103a =Math1b (L) T4A54 TanL Sem1
Mon 14:30-17:30 CP2037 =CELLBIO (P) T1A610 FernandoAA Sem1Wk1-9,11-12
Tue 08:00-10:00 SP0202 =IDEA (T) T1A46 KohAMC,FooTT Sem1

Tue 10:00-12:00 CP4006 =IOCHEM2 (L) LT4 LeongCH Sem1
Tue 13:00-15:00 LC0203 =RWP (T) T414 PriyaM Sem1
Tue 15:00-16:00 MS2103a =Math1b (L) T121 TanL Sem1
Wed 09:00-10:00 CP2037 =CELLBIO (T) T232 ShuSC Sem1Wk2,4,6,8,12,14,16
Wed 10:00-11:00 CP2037 =CELLBIO (T) T232 FernandoAA Sem1Wk2,4,6,8,12,14,16
Wed 11:00-12:30 MS2103a =Math1b (P) T447 TanL Sem1Wk1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15
Wed 11:00-12:30 MS2103a =Math1b (T) T1A35 TanL Sem1Wk2,4,6,8,12,14,16
Wed 13:00-14:00 CP4006 =IOCHEM2 (L) T242 LeongCH Sem1
Wed 14:00-15:00 CP2007 =BMICRO1 (L) T245 OngCS Sem1
Thu 08:00-11:00 CP2007 =BMICRO1 (P) T103 GohTH,KohAMC Sem1Wk1-9,11-12

Thu 12:00-13:00 CP2037 =CELLBIO (L) T125 ShuSC Sem1
Thu 13:00-14:00 CP2007 =BMICRO1 (T) T125 PhoLK Sem1Wk1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15
Thu 13:00-14:00 CP2007 =BMICRO1 (T) T125 OngCS Sem1Wk2,4,6,8,12,14,16
Fri 08:00-11:00 CP4006 =IOCHEM2 (P) T221A/T221 Cyril Chua Sem1Wk2,4,6,8,12
Fri 12:00-14:00 Sem1


my bloody time table!!!!!ITS SO PACKJED!!! school ends at two on thursdays!!! ends at 4 on tuesdays!! shit man, this totally reminds me of my JC timetable!! its killer!!! there is one thing im thankful for, there are not unreasonably long breaks in between. I wont have to worry about what i want to do should there be 2 hours of free time.
wonder how i shall juggle my time for band.....should work out well enough i think
  ¶ Saturday, June 26, 2004

 
You're a Jaw Breaker!!!! You tend to be quite
upfront about everything. Some admire you for
this quality, while others often resent you for
it. Although you may act tough, whether you
hate to admit it or not there is some sweetness
inside of you.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


see that!!! it means im a sweet guy with a tough exterior!!! wahahahaa
self pleasure...-_-  ¶ Friday, June 25, 2004

  After dinner, i took the MRT home. As i walked across the field beside the Kembangan MRT station. A flood of emotions rushed through me like a huge wave washing away everything in its path. Lots of sadness...so many differently feelings that i just cant put into words. I didn't feel like going home, so i threw my bag to the ground and sat down on the concrete curb, just staring into blank space. Allowing sorrow to engulf me. Often i wonder, having gone back for every single practice. Have i made a difference? Every now and then. i ask myself if my presence is of any importance...ive been there at nearly every turn on the road to the medal. BUT, there is always this lingering question in the back of my head. If i did not turn up for one practice, or maybe 2. Would anyone notice it? Would any of them go, "Hey i didn't see you at band today, what happened?" that kinda thing. I guess that's like asking for the world. I am after all just one person, and im not even part of the band. My presence doesnt affect the formation or the band's morale. So it can get depressing sometimes. You start to wonder if all the time that you have sacrificed just to return to help has been worth it. For example. Taveewat cam back to Singapore on Wednesday. Ive not seen him since...last year i think. He's been a classmate since i was in sec1, that speaks volumes doesnt it. But i might be able to see him before he goes back to thailand. Why?? because im always at band. Ummar tried to find a day where we were all free, so that we could meet up. But it seems that im the one person who's not free all the time. He's asked me more than once. "Can't chabot once meh??" each time the answer would be "no...i wouldnt dream of doing that...what kind of senior would i be if i did that"
Going back for band has always been rather difficult. I never really wanted to be a senior. Because ive never respected my own seniors. So i tried a different tactic. I wanted to go back and make friends with them. And help them, as a friend, i thought that it might be easier, and certainly more interesting.
Why i didnt want to be a senior?? I didn't know what a senior should behave like. Ive never ever had what you would call supportive seniors. When they left, every single batch would say, after we leave the band will topple. I've never said that before....because i did not want to be anything like the seniors i had. Every action i took, i had to consider if it was a right move. I had to make sure that i was doing something a good senior would do. So everything i did, i tried to make it as far from what my seniors would do as i could. I had to win their trust, i had to make friends with so many new faces. And i had to control the ego. I am a person with a huge ego and an air of arrogance like few others. I had to make many changes in order to adapt to the band's style...believe me it was not easy. As a band member, i was not much of a senior. As an ex band member, i wanted change that image. It took time, but eventually i got what i wanted i think.......when the band got a gold, i shed tears of joy along with many of the other members. I felt emotions that i had never experienced before. 17 April was a day that came with many strange and unforgettable sensations. The passion of the members is an unbelievably beautiful sight. The hardwork and toil each member puts in for a common goal is the true reward in all this. That ultimate sense of satisfaction...we've been through this together and that is what counts. That's the magic in it all.

Now the fairy tale is about to end. Kenrick has decided not to teach either band anymore. The band will go through a huge change no doubt. But his departure along with the departure of the sec4s leaves me in a strange position. In a state of limbo if you like. Where do i go from now. Once he leaves, the seniors i do not get along with will start coming back again. But i want to come back, ive made friends with the current members. How could i possbily turn my back on them. Not when they're trying so hard to make things right. I feel that i should be there to go through this time of trouble with. Be it Ping Yi or Springfield, the past 6 months have made me feel like a member of both bands. Shutting out their existance would be unbearable. But with such a huge change in circumstances, what should i do??? After the 3rd of July, what happens??? The future seems to shrouded in dark clouds of despair and misery. I have always believed that one's destiny is within his own hands. But the destiny of a band. How does one control that?
I'm so tired and saddened. Kenrick's choice is the route i would have taken if i were in his position right now. So he has my support in the decision he is making. But one cant help but feel a profound sense of loss. I never ask myself why things turn up this way. Because i'd accepted long ago, the stark undeniable fact that change is inevitable. It's all a matter of adapting to the change. Its what humans do best...this makes us the dominant species on this lonely planet. How will i react to this change? I have not reacted with much anger. But there has been a lot of pain. i think we all need a break.
oh there's so much more in my mind right now....but too little time for me to write it all up.
Together we strive...we are the titans...
After the 3rd, that will become another beautiful memory for me to keep away. To look back upon in times of sadness. Something which will always been an inspiration!
  ¶ Thursday, June 24, 2004

  I woke up at 1230 on Sunday. Because i slept at 445 after watching Holland Vs Czech. Was a good match. The whole problem with the Dutch is that their team is so fractious. Everyone is ready to bite his neighbour's head off. It's an excellent analogy to use on the band. It shows you how a team of incredibly talented individuals cannot find success, simply because there is no bond. Their sense of national pride is weaker than their egos. And they don't say things out loud. Rather than come clean with their grievances. They go to the press, making comments without much thought on how it would affect the teams morale, or how it would affect the coach's job. Such people are the ones who make working as a team that much harder. And they are present everywhere!!! They cannot see the big picture! Narrow-minded and self-centered, thats what they are!
Such is the downfall of a mighty team with huge potential for success.

Ok, back to what i did on sunday. i went to parkway i think.........i dont remember...oh ya. i bought a book. Legends of the riftwar: Honoured Enemy. Yes! about time i had some new reading material! I lost one robo too!! damn..well they were both sick. And i didnt know what to expect. After this one died, the other seems to be on the road to recovery. Increased alertness. Eyes no longer small and filled with discharge. Fur is puffier! hahaha. hunch is not prominent. Good signs. I think my campbell female is pregnant. Will elaborate more on that some other time.

Monday morning. Wake up and head down to ping yi, from there i go to springfield. The choreographer for springfield thing is a fucking gay student. Just looking at him makes me feel irritated. And the items that theyre putting up for the thing...wel its so circus like....cabaret....swinging of strings, playing with hats...turning around here and there. You'd think the uniformed groups involved would have more pride in themselves and their ccas.

Buy the refreshments for the rehearsal and rush back to school for lunch. The rehearsal was interesting. TK seemed unintimidating. hahaha, its all psychology. See what a black uniform does to the mind!!! they looked like a mere bunch of students...and a really rather meek bunch at that! I wont comment on the their timing. Because, it would be disrespectful! hahaha, always respect your opponent no matter how ridiculous they may seem. Made noise on the bus on the way there, on the way back as usual!

After band we go to Mac's for dinner. It was a rather slow and awkward start at first. Sec4s pang seh us got tampines eat. So screw them la~ hahaa. Eugene was in such a dull mood at first, tried cheering him up. Eventually his spririts were lifted when we got to Mac and started to dig in. Went crazy lor. AGAIN! First at KFC, then Long John Silver's now Macdonalds. One small step for my straw ice gun and a big step for the band! a big step towards getting banned from going to fast food restaurants that is.....Next destination is hopefully Burger King or.......pizza hut anyone???
I had fun eating the nuggets, my that was excellent. Chai Jing ate more than any of us lor.......wah lao.....

A pretty good day all in all. But ive had better ones.....find myself in a relatively sour mood tonite.....i should just go to sleep..
  ¶ Monday, June 21, 2004

  Wah...nearly a week has past since i last had the chance to sit down and rot by the computer. Lets see.....

i dont remember what i did on monday morning. But i'm quite sure it was pretty meaningless. Since i feel as though nothing happened at all. Monday afternoon, i'm deciding on whether i should go to the fairfield concert. Initially decided agaisnt it. Then changed my mind when i found out maureen was trying desperately to get rid of her ticket. So i went lor! Left the concert hall during the interval because the next day was band camp! I my bag wasn't packed yet. After reaching home, i use the computer for a while. Then TADAA~!! Kenrick asks me if i can come over to his place now....that was abt 11pm at night. hahahaa, i thought about it for a brief second. Then told my parents i wanted to go and stay over at the band instructors house to discuss about band stuff....,camp you see....very urgent business! hahaha!! And miraculously they consented!! So i got my stuff together. And my father gave me a lift over.

Tuesday morning....ermm...as in really morning. Like 2am to 4am. Im sitting at Kenrick's table with Gim Kai and we're doing the SYF 2004 formation. Basket, next morning have to wake up ard 6 to be in school at 7 for a committee meeting and we're still working at 4am in the morning. hahahaa, what to do!!!!! sleep one hour only lor... Wake up later in the morning feeling rather energised in spite of the minimal sleeping period. First day of band camp was super tough, because we tried to complete the whole formation on that day itself. And well, success! But one thing i realised was that we lacked seniors.....Just not enough of us to cover to different camps in one go. The sec1 camp and the main band camp. Shit it was difficult. And poor julian had to do the sec1s on his own throughout 95percent of the camp. hahaha, and he did a wonderful job by anyone's standards. I guess he has the proper patience and humour for the job. I could never do it on my own. Would blow my top as soon as the first night. WELL DONE JULIAN!

First camp night, was err odd. hahaha, we spent our time just walking here and there, do nothing, and talk. Went to sit on the pavement. Then i lay down for a while. Ended up taking a short nap. But woke up and started to walk around again. It was a dreadfully hot night!! So we went to see if the staff room was open. With small hope that we might be able to steal a night inside the comforts of air-conditioned loveliness. haha, we woke up Mdm Lee by accident. Because Daniel close the door so damn hard. hahaha, once she woke up we all zhao! When she came out i hinted, that we wanted to sleep in the staff room. And she so generously offered us the privilidge.
Upon entering the staff room, we jsut sat on the floor, after a while, we all just went to sleep. And boy was it funny. Kenrick's snore is like the roar of an untamed beast!!Basket, daniel sat up laughing for a good 15minutes before he eventually dozed off.

First mornining.....breakfast sucked. sucked sucked sucked sucked.......wah lao...bread got no margarine. Eating bread with peanut butter on its own...thats like eating a ball of starch or glue lor....totally cannot be swallowed. Then the milo taste like...chocolate with water....and the jam!!!! shit it was like a jar of jelly....it was not satisfying. period. I dont really remember what we did the rest of the day. But lunch sucked....sasparilla...what kinda shit drink is that. Tasted like gasless sarsi....how horrible is that..
Rest of the day was spent on perfecting the formation. Night was fun!!! although sheryl and lisa halfway pang seh us to go bintan. never mind...hope they have fun....i mean less fun than we've had within the last few days lor!
that night we played the blind fold game properly!! i will not elaborate on it, simply because that would take way too long. And there was the water war game. That was a bloody long game. we should have limited the teams to a specific area within the school, rather than everywhere! I was god along with the other seniors. Eliminating people at will. Had fun torturing people while they did the blind fold game. errmmmmmm, Splashing cold water at each other using the balloon. Chen Pei fell once...hahahaa, then she sat on the floor cover her face. We didnt know whether she was crying of laughing le! That night we went out....errm, cannot say more la...haha, lets just say i ate a lot more than id normally eat at such an unearthly hour and leave it at that!! That night i was soooo shagged, the moment we stepped into the staff room, i just dropped dead. Julian and Kenrick were looking at the papers, when suddenly they realised that i was sleeping like a log on the damned cold floor.
In the morning they woke me up really early.....the drone of the base drum only served to put me back to sleep. That morning was bad la, i was like totally stoned...kenrick told me he was gonna get some tea from the teachers machine thingy. But i didnt know lor, apparently i just stood there staring into space. Dragged my feet to the canteen and sat on the chair. And i stoned once again. Lack of sleep does these things to you la. Thats the last day of camp.

While the secitons were doing their music. Kenrick, Janice, Julian, Gim Kai and i went to watch Mr Holland's Opus. Lovely story about a man's battle to be a good teacher, good father and a composer. Very moving ending indeed! After that, they were given a chance to rest in the AVA, didnt really rest. We actually went nuts just sitting in the ava and crapping around. Im disappointed by one small thing. The trumpet seniors didnt do anything to make Asmidah and Sharifah feel like part of the group. I tried hard to get them involved to no avail. Will work on it as time goes by, eventually they will melt into the group we've formed. End of camp, just sat around the courtyard talking crap waiting to go to KFC, because gim kai decided to take his time repeating everything kenrick scolded him with to the new majors~~*long sigh*. AT KFC we went nuts lor. I ate like a glutton. 3 day without proper unhealthy food is torture. Seriously. Just whalloped everything i could get my hands on. After eating, we just sat there laughing at every little thing lor. The camp made us whack la. There was this guy at the opposite table staring at us....stupid fool.....you're trying to pick a fight with a table or fat guys....did you have a death wish? That night went online. BUT GOT NOBODY TO CHAT WITH LOR....everyone asleep ah.!!!!!

Friday, Slept from 1am to 3pm...recuperation. Make up for lost sleep you see, from monday to thursday. I realised that i had only slept a grand total of 8 hours....incredible. Wake up at 3, i find that i had a missed call from Ummar. Call him and discover that Ameen wants to go see a car exhibition....wtf.....just go anyways, because i wanted to get my bone tired body working and moving. And most importantly i wanted to eat out. We go the expo and find that ameen was misinformed. So we planed to go Simei instead. Decided on taking bus number 12. HAH!! missed the simei stop....so go all theway to pasir ris lor. hahahaha, we eat at this place called MagicWok, wah not bad ah. 8 dollar meal, made me bloated. Id really rather eat at a place like that, than eat at pizza hut.....or seoul garden. After this, we head down to bedok to play pool!!! sucky place i know, but all in the name of convenience u see. We were going to play soccer after that mah. Wait for Farhan to come down. Ass said he would blanja us lor. As usual, he took his own sweet time, so we opened the table before he came. Won everyone at least once that day. hahaha, moral booster. While they were arguing over who should pay for the table.....farhan la....wanted to go back on his word. I just slipped away to get changed. And grabbed an ice cream. Good night for soccer, argued with Joon Chiat a bit about how easy it was for our band to get a gold. As compared to his NCC... please lor....i sure win this kinda argument....he doesnt even care about his stupid NCC anymore lor....CCB...
hahahaa

Saturday morning. Gor for band. Help julian take the sec1s for the most part of the marching. wah lan...teaching them is really very frustrating. After that went with some of the member for dinner at Mac...made noise la as usual. The performance was pretty good. But the audience was so tiny.....doesnt matter. I had fun conducting. I saw Khairul conduct...and i thought, man thats stiff. So i went out there and did the complete opposite. hahahaa!

The band was in REALLY VERY HIGH spirits after the satisfying performance. Made tonnes of noise during our free buffet dinner. Cheering, screaming, bottoms up, and i ate 20 pieces of tofu!!!!! On the way back, i screamed myself hoarse singing the school song, and the national anthem. Funny lor. I went back carrying the ice cream box like a long lost treasure chest. Hahaha, while the band was at attention, I was playing with dried ice. To all the members...im sorry if u did not get an ice cream. But between the seniors. I think we must have eaten 18 ice creams...hahahahaa!

Went to Long John's after that. WAH LAO, their portions getting tinier and tinier lor.And the price is still the same. They had these interesting new fries. I thought it was cute! Totally went wild lor just now. On the way there, we were screaming and cheering. hahaha, buay paiseh one! Down there Eugene was really silly man. hahaha, yan wen was telling this joke, and everyone was laughing. After that we found out that Eugene was laughing because everyone was laughing and he didnt understand the joke. hahahahaa
Then joseph decided to put ice doen kenrick's shirt!! hhahahaa, He got rattled like a stuffed toy lor. After that, we shoved ice down his undies and the ice cubes got stuck up his arse. hahahahaha!!! Laughed so hard my stomach ached.

Wah, hectic but lovely week lor. If all my weeks were like that, i'd be a very tired person. But i wouldnt mind. Its all the fun that i had. Quite magical really. There's actually so much more to say. Many thoughts regarding this or that event. Or this social circle and its structure. But i simply cannot put things together right now! ive not written an emotional and "deep" entry in a month i think. Takes time. i will go watch Germany vs Latvia!! haahahaha!
  ¶ Saturday, June 19, 2004

  Anger!!!!!!!!! blast it!!
its nearly 1am in the morning...and my father asked me to carry this damned door all the way down to a dumpster near the vet...the door is solid wood for pity's sake! wouldnt u expect me to be bloody angry. couldnt you have done this in the morning...very bad sense of timing. Argh...too many mixed emotions. CONFLICT!!!

Bloody poor day it's been anyway, wake up at 10am, slept at 1 the night before. So its nine hours of slumber. Peaceful it wasnt....had horrid dreams of a never ending journey through some town. Wake up feeing all beaten up, drag myself downstairs, and find that i have nothing to do. Completely aimless, so i read the newspapers. After reading the classified section. I remember that my hamsters require a serious bedding change. So i chabot church. And go with jon to Parkway to do some stocking up. Needed a new water bottle, and lots of new bedding. Looks like my food is running low as well. After that, the day just degenerates. I spend a huge amount of time just rotting in front of the television. After a poor dinner, i go upstairs to find the computer occupied by vanessa.......temper still in check. Because i eventually get the computer anyway. Go to use the toilet...and i find my towel on the toilet bowl cover!!! She obviously left it there!! Has she got any damned consideration for me!?? now my blood begins a slow boil........its hard to properly explain this situation...but if you wanna know more, look me up on msn...much easier that way. My sister is one petty shit!

Sense of forebode is increasing as the days to the camp start decreasing. No offence to the new committee and their skills. But something just does not feel right. Something bad will happen. Its like a bump of trouble under my skin. Can just feel it. Let's hope im wrong this time.

Found out that im doing module B in biotech/med tech. hahahaha. what a bloody surprise that is. Module B is supposed to be harder than module A. I dont know the specifics of it all. But rest assured once the finals are over. 90% of my energy will be more or less focused on developing a strong foundation within my first year. I am considering passing out the chance to join the Sp band....it holds little appeal to me at this moment. I do not want to make the same mistake i made in secondary two. FOUNDATION IS CRUCIAL.
ummar is in mod A along with jas. Steph is doing the same mod as i am. Shall ask cherlyn if she knows which mod she is in. I'd expect her to be in mod B lor....

Been on an emotional rollercoaster of late....nothing i can do about it. I think i know the reason why though. Most nights i find unusual clarity of thought. Not the recent nights. Also realise that its the on days in which i have no particular aim or purpose, that my mood is the most foul. This is quite different from when i was in sec school. i would never feel frustrated with having nothing to do. Change in attitude towards life?? maybe??

Might want to watch the England-France match, its been a while since ive watched proper soccer. It appeals to the passion within. But at 230 am....i might really want to consider that decision twice.....oh well, its not as if i have anything to do the on monday anyway. This all depends on whether Im still awake at 230 am, i might decide that the bed has a mesmerising effect on me later on.
  ¶ Monday, June 14, 2004

  Not updated in a while. Not because my life has been so unbeliveably dull, but because it's been quite the opposite! wahaaa, feels good to have things to do every night.

Let's see, there was a committee meeting on wednesday. Ping Yi com went to Springfield for the meeting. Boy was that a failure....in all my life as a prefect of a band member. I have never ever seen such a poor meeting. hahahaa, as a prefect things just came naturally, people knew how to take the lead, or step aside when necessary. In band, there was always a clear understanding of how things were run, partly due to Miss Sia's presence last time. That was when i was in Sec 3. Than in Sec 4....well, there were never any real meetings, but whenever anything resembling a meeting was held...at least Choon Leng, Kelvin, Qammar, Wee Huat and I DEFINITELY ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING TO SAY. hahahaa
These very unusual bunch of people, hahaha..sat around in silence staring at each other, expecting Kenrick to do the Band Majors' job. I guess, since its their first ever combined meeting. None were willing to take the lead, as they might have been unsure of where things stood. But the way i see it, i think it's because none of them have the brazen outspoken quality. I'm sure they learnt a thing or two from that day. If they didnt..then, we're all doomed la.
After that meeting, went to eat at Caltex, then kenrick asked if i wanted to be an emcee for the charity concert on friday...i very nearly spit out my curry puff man...At first i was reluctant. 2 days to prepare, one day to practice. Takes a really brave and crazy idiot to do something like that. I said no at first. Then he asked Sheryl, so i changed my mind. Hahaha, if she's gonna be my partner then that put things into a totally different perspective. And i am brave, idiotic and crazy la....So what do you know...i just agreed to do it.

Thursday there is band. For some reason i dont really remember much about that. Then the concert, Acjc, it clashed with my grandmother's birthday. Gosh...i missed her birthday celebration. Man...i feel really bad about it. I love her a lot. Called to wish her happy birthday and apologise. But she couldnt hear me on the handphone!! hahahaa oh well................. Anyway, after the concert we found ourselves in a mad rush to conjure up a word to be printed on the band uniform. Lots of funny words started popping up. Raiders, Excalibur, Hermes, Equinox, Zenith. And finally we chose Titans!!! hahahaa, i thought up the word. Because they were talking about using something from greek mythology. So i linked the gods of olympus to their creators. THE TITANS!!!! hahahaa, has many nice meetings. Watch out singapore, here come the Titans!!!

Friday, wake up to go to school early, Asmidah and Sharifah are incredible juniors, one day shall elaborate on them more. Borrowed Gim Kai's black shirt and musical tie. hahaa, eventually did not wear it. Because lots of people said it looked corny. We went to VCH around three i think. Go so early and did nothing there, rehearsed the script once or twice...maybe thrice. But didnt use the mike. So had to improvise just a few minutes before the concert started. Like, when do we walk out, or when do we start talking. That sort of thing. Coordination with the bands la. The concert went smoothly...if im to be a judge of such things. Sure the script was unbearably lame, and Sheryl was the victim of many corny lines. Hah, especially the singing!! ooo, she had a slightly sore throat that day. And couldnt sing errm properly?? hahahaaa. I got to sing too!!! ON STAGE!!!! imagine that.... And we received flowers too!!! Crazy people from the band, shouted Chio Bu and Gim Kai's shirt. Man..they're nuts. But honestly, the shouting helped to put me at ease. I felt more comfortable just being a little more of myself. After the concert, Mr Ong thanked us personally, thats really nice. Miss Sia didnt say much to us. Did not expect her to anyway. hahaha
Went to eat at BK after that. Ate so much, but was still hungry...

Saturday. SCORCHING HEAT!!!!!!!! and BIRTHDAYS. IT wasnt my birthday, but i got dirtier than Gim Kai!! Went with Chenpei to get the cake! hahaha, i liked the cake. First person to get saboed was Lisa, Hahaha, she had the melted ice cream dumped all over her. THEN SHE GO WIPE ON ME!!! hahahaa, after that came flour. Wah...from that moment. Everything just went havock after a seriously tough day at band, Everyone just let loose. Flour flying here and there. Water splashed, all over one another. CREAM!!!! smeared all over. The aftermath.....i went home drenched, flour in my hair, smelling like cake and cream on my pants and bag..... I had fun!!!!! Getting dirty rocks!!  ¶ Saturday, June 12, 2004

  Finally back from a not so ideal trip to Phuket. IT was raining on each the three days or so that i was there. That is so totally disappointing. Firstly, when one goes to phuket, its to enjoy the beach and visit the islands. We did none of those, just went shopping and of course rode an elephant. I don't want to elaborate on the trip, because im not in the mood to do it right now. I'm feeling tired and irritable. Didn't go for band, that's the first practice ive missed in months...doubt anyone noticed though.....after all im just a senior. Acne has been getting worse....that's bloody annoying, i cant wear polo shirts, because the area with the buttons will inflame my acne....hahaha, cant explain that....bought the catapult for Jon. Tested it just now, it's a little out of alignment, but that can be fixed.
Can't help but wonder if i've missed out on anything fun while i was gone. Just feels like something is missing, not sure what it is....its sort of like the feeling you get when you don't bring your handphone along when you leave the house. Just multiply that by ten and you'll get what im feeling right now.
In thailand, i was looking for a cheap pair of street soccer boots. Not a single shop had any for sale...i think they don't play street soccer in thailand. Not in Phuket at least.

I'm still in a very foul mood.....have not recovered from that yet. Feel bitter about everything. And the weather is not helping either. Its fucking hot here....to think it rained every damned day in thailand. I really shouldn't have gone along. I would have had MOST of the house to myself. And i could have gone out late at night without ever worrying about having to go home. Better yet, get friends to stay over...just to go wild. Maybe the mood is just due to travel fatigue.

I think they have finally gone their seperate ways. I'm in no position to back that statement up. But it does seem that way, will the be the end of the problem?? i'm doubt so, but it does prevent other further problems from cropping up.

Ive read xiu ting's blog. *sigh* she's being really silly.....feeling lonely and having no one to turn to is not silly, but the way she is reacting is silly. She does so many things to save her face...why?? She wants someone to listen to her. This means she wants to open up to someone. But if she's gonna keep doing these funny things to save her face in front of friends, that person or people will never appear. The problem is not them its her. That jueyun situation...you're all old friends...there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Geez..im just blabbering....

The first call i received upon touching down on this VERY sunny island. Was from the shirt company.....apparently she's not received her shirt sizes. I thought that was supposed to have been collected a week ago. What happened...?? i shall have to go get it done on thursday. ALTHOUGH THAT MAY BE TOO LATE IF SHE IS TO PRODUCE THE SHIRTS BY THE 21 OF JUNE~!!!! And there is another problem, the lady requires a name to address the confirmation of orders to. Should i tell her springfield, and Mr Tan. Or ping yi and Miss Nava. FIrstly, springfield has a trash system...they get things done slowly and ineffeciently. BUT THEY CHAVE SPENDING POWER. They have money~~~ i wonder if the money part matters. But it feels better to be buying something and having the money to pay for it. Ping Yi, sure to get the paper work done. BUT NO MONEY!!! i am very sure the 50% deposit came from springfield's pockets. Address it to Ping yi and one can be sure the paper work will be safe and all. Hah, if anything goes wrong. I'm responsible...shall ask kenrick tomorrow.

What a day this has been...what a rare mood im in, why its almost like being enraged.  ¶ Tuesday, June 08, 2004

  Was at band on saturday, i'm really disappointed in Norman. His attitude towards taking the post of ADM is horribly immature. There's nothing i can do about it. Or intend to do about it. It's important that a leader wants to assume the role of leadership. Oh well, we'll just have to look for other candidates then. Sec4s came back today. Thank the heavens. But will they come again? that remains to be seen.... Trumpet section had to run quite a bit today. They were not giving it their all during sectional marching. We managed to do a complete formation. Including the STAR, i made a few mistakes with the steps. But nothing severe or irreparable. And the transition was fine as well. That's a good start i hope...
After band, went to listen to the springfielders gossip. Truly entertaining stuff.
Then i went down to tampines to watch some of them. Harry Porter....i never thought i'd watch it. But Emma Watson is an adorable lass. The movie was ok i guess, not what i would usually go for. It just did not appeal to me. Damned commercials before the movie finally began lasted a bloody half hour......And eugene made this funny comment abt that credit card commercial which makes things smaller.......that kid has a funny mind.

Been in a dark mood lately. Not explosive anger but silent brooding. It's not immediately obvious, shall have to wait and see what happens next. I don't really know what the cause is, or maybe i just don't want to admit it to myself. It's not really important anyway. Something's just hasn't been right lately...it's upset the natural balance i had achieved a few months back...thats annoying. I didn't foresee it, and my foresight is nearly always very accurate. Now i have to spend emotional energy trying to make things right again. This goes to anyone who reads my blog, don't bother asking what this paragraph is about. I won't give a straight answer. Probably because i cant. It's a mixture of many factors and circumstances as well.

I've received a letter from the language department at sp. My application for a 3rd language has been accepted. They are offering me the course i opted for. FRENCH. I have till the 29th to decide whether i am truly interested in comitting my time to learning another language. It will undoubtably be an asset. But that is not the issue.   ¶ Sunday, June 06, 2004

  just read the tag board.....GOD DAMN IT U BLOODY FOOLS!!!!!
look what you've done. You've gotten me worked up assholes....
FIRSTLY, ALL I ASK FOR IS THE MONTH OF JUNE. IS THAT TOO MUCH OF A DEMAND.........CRUCIAL YEAR MY BLOODY ARSE!!!! I DONT SEE HOW THE MONTH OF JUNE WILL DRASTICALLY AFFECT YOUR RESULTS UR SELF CENTERED BUNCH OF LOW LIFES.....
FURTHER MORE.....i KNOW that the sec 4s who did not turn up for band, and who still dont turn up for band, are making use of their crucial time this crucial year by going out with friends to watch movies and such.....SO MUCH FOR MAKING PRACTICAL GOOD USE OF TIME IN A CRUCIAL PERIOD....DO I LOOK FUCKING IGNORANT TO YOU LOT OF BUFFOONS....

ALSO, explain to me how the springfield secondary fours can all make it while the ping yians cant????????? the year is not as crucial to them issit??????? NEED I REMIND YOU NAIVE AIR HEADS THAT THEIR SCHOOL IS IN ACTUAL FACT PRODUCING BETTER RESULTS THAN OURS!!!???? conceited arrogant bastards....that's what i think of you lot......

And here is how i rationalize things. if we withdraw, NOBODY GAINS!!! your results stay lousy, because u cant change the fact that you're a stupid flippin' prostitute with poor time management..........if we withdraw, we not only lose prestige. Our school name goes down the gutter. And in the end, your past months of sacrifice would have been wasted. NOTHING AT ALL TO JUSTIFY YOUR POOR RESULTS!!!!! So you lose your gold, you lose your results, and you wasted 6 months of crucial time in a crucial year. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU, YOU DAMNED SIMPLETONS. OR DO I HAVE TO PUT IT IN SIMPLER TERMS???

DONT JOIN AND U LOSE UR CCA POINTS ALONG WITH EVERYTHING U WORKED FOR. AND YOUR RESULTS STILL REMAIN AS POOR AS THEY WERE BEFORE. REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THERE WAS BAND PRACTICE. SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ARE INCOMPETENT.......its THE FINALS OR NOTHING
study time lost will no longer be justified if we withdraw, so sacrifice another month if you want the best out of this situation. AND SACRIFICE THOSE DAMNED OUTINGS U CHOOSE OVER BAND PRACTICE AND MAYBE THIS CRUCIAL YEAR WONT BE WASTED.....


and "some girl"....you lack pride in your own identity. so much so that you dont have the guts to reveal who u actually are.........AND IT TAKES A LOSER TO RECOGNIZE ANOTHER LOSER. MAKES U QUITE A BIG LOSER AS WELL DOESNT IT??  ¶ Friday, June 04, 2004

  fwah...yet another LONG day. Started with band and ended with dinner after a concert.
Band started off a little slow for me, i was half asleep while they were marching. Everything seemed to move a crawl. Kinda like those matrix scenes where everything just slows down. Then kenrick came, and hahahaaa!!! i had to start looking at the formation thing!! Writing down the steps required to move fromt he double diamonds to the star. Shit that was tedious work. Going through each and every person bit by tiny bit. Initially, i started doing it with the damned A4 sized paper...but that was a little bit stupid. Having to strain my eyes each time i counted the steps between the old and new positions. Got very tired of that, so went down to the staff room to get Miss Nava to blow it up to A3 size. That sure helped, because we managed to get up the work pace. Finished it before the lunch break.

Anyway, maybe it wasnt me, when i felt that band practice was going at a snail's pace. Because...after lunch, everyone could feel that things just were not working out. Kenrick decided the best way to tackle that was to take the bull by its horns!! hahaha, punishments galore~~! Not that i enjoyed it, but i might be crazy. You see, i've always enjoyed physical punishments, rather than stuff like writing lines and such. Physical punishments have always been more meaningful and effective...in my perspective at least. AND, ive often realised, that in camps or dull practices like today's. After a solid scolding and plenty of running and push ups. You find that morale in general tends to get this huge boost. Like someone took a pill or something and became high. Or felix taking a can of beer...... This is probably, because after the punishments, people tend to put in more effort, when people work hard together, its always enjoyable. And a camp without a significant amount of torture is a boring one. Im still unable to properly phrase my thoughts on this yet...but eventually i'll get something.

I got to conduct instant swing today...hahahaaa!!
i made a fool of myself. DIdnt know how to get started at first. But it was fun, yeah~!
partly because im a huge fan of that genre of music. Swing is my thing. Need to work on looking less like a monkey while i conduct now....

Oh!!!! and i got to wear the new uniform AGAIN!! and this time..i think i paraded around the school in it for 2 hours!! wahoooo, i really really love the tabard. And that sample set is like tailor made for my size, so its totally comfortable! Gives one a sense of importance. HAHAHA, medieval knight, Sir Lancelot, or Sir Gawain. That kinda thing.

After that came the one of the most impromptu things ive ever done. hahaha, in half and hour i decided that i wanted to go to the Junyuan concert. Went with so many people man. Daniel, stephanie and Maureen came over to my place to to change. Because timing was a little tight. We ended up late anyway. WHICH IS JOANNA"S FAULT!!!!!! she wore string again by the way.......
The concert was fun, because as the audience...we kinda went wild. And we were like sitting in front. They played songs familiar to us. And everytime there was a part which required human voices...we kinda added ours.

After the concert. we went to that prata shop to eat. The place with the horrid service...... I tried to tie joanna's strings to the chair...but they all go reveal me...basket!! There was a tiny mix up in the orders..........oh my....that was embarrassing. Instead of one Roti John, we got two. And we paid for one.........its a long story. But i my conscience is clear....i think. I only said that we ordered one roti john. Never mentioned a thing abt the second one. Neither confirm nor deny its existance. *long sigh* So much confusion over a 3 dollar plate of hard bread....
*super long sigh* what a mess that was.....
On the way back did a silly moon walk in a pile of greasy liquid on the floor. that really amused me for some reason.
Reached kembangan. Took a SLOW SLOW walk home from the MRT, because the moon was full and bright. Really entrancing. So i just strolled home under the moonlit sky, gazing at the moon now and then. Completely enchanted by its somehow alien yet familiar beauty.

BTW, on the train...Eugene had the good grace to poke his ass into mine groin. NOT ONCE BUT TWICE....hahahaa

All in all, another long day, but fun i think. Jiefang and Hew Yenn think i like someone~!!!! wahahahaaa. have fun la!! because, i neither confirm nor deny that i do~~!!(hahaha, like the white house politicians) im really enjoying this, it entertains me. Don't be too quick to draw conclusions. Because here i reveal my manipulative nature~~~ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
  ¶ Thursday, June 03, 2004

  Went to school in the morning the day before, for band. Sec4s are giving problems.....ping yi sec 4s that is. Here's the ultimatum. Either we get a proper attendence. Or we forfeit the gold by withdrawing from the competition. That would put 6 months of extremely hard work to waste. Teachers, it is completely down to you now. Will you play your part by convincing these students and their parents to show some support and responsibility. If anyone is going to take the fall for a lousy performance. It will be the school. So its the school's name at stake...choose wisely..

After band we had that comittee meeting to settle stuff. Went home feeling quite tired. I wonder why, it wasn't a full day practice, we actually ended earlier than usual. But i ended up feeling more tired than i'd normally feel. Dragged myself home....

Met some of the band members at tampines...why always tampines ah????
Went to watch a movie at cineleisure, AGAIN. hahaha, this is the first time i'm watching so many movies within a short span of time. No disappointments so far though, the movies have been really good

This time, there was a dress code....set by sheryl and yan wen. We wore formal clothes!!! i actually went out in a long sleeved shirt!!!! Man, when i saw sheryl, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets! She was dressed in a blue blouse, this REALLY short white skirt and heels!! wow....she didnt look like a girl, thats for sure! Did i mention that she was the only member of the fairer sex amongst us???
We watched The Day after Tomorrow. It was really good, had WONDERFUL visual effects. But the part with the crazy wolves was just....irritating. It made no sense at all.

After the show, we went down to pool factor! That was fun, its been 3 weeks since i touched pool. Went home at 6 in the morning...caught the first train. By the time i was in bed...it was already seven. Anyways, woke up at 1pm today. Halfway thu my sleep, i had this really bad cramp in my left calf. Nearly screamed while i tried to ignore the pain.

I just received an sms from the SP trumpet section leader. Said that there will be band tomorrow at 6.30pm. I don't believe it.....ive not even started school. I dont think i will reply him or her. I dont intend to go till school begins. Makes no sense...its in Dover for god's sake!


  ¶ Wednesday, June 02, 2004